I feel like crying. I CANNOT TAKE IT ANYMORE. Living this life hurts just so much. This feeling really sucks. It's been more than a month already. 13 September. That evil 13. I can remember it ever so clearly.
Whatever. I hate the world. The world I'm living in right now. Yes, I hate it, ever so deeply.
TRIED very hard to break the news of my super wonderful effing results. But I just can't seem to say it. Or perhaps, I can't bring myself to say it. :( Where's my courage? Sigh. This feeling sucks.
I can't be super-perfect. Whatever la, my life's so screwed up. :( :( :( :( I'M IN A TOTAL MESS RIGHT NOW AND I'M FREAKING FRUSTRATED BECAUSE EVERYTHING THAT'S RELATED TO ME IS SO FREAKING SCREWED UP AND I'M FREAKING TIRED YET I STILL CANNOT SLEEP AND I'M FREAKING BUSY WITH SRP AND ALL OTHER SCHOOL ACTIVITIES AND THAT _______ GROUP OF MINE HAS NOT DONE ANYTHING PRESENTABLE ENOUGH FOR OP AND SO WE'RE GOING TO BE FREAKING DEAD IN TMR'S DRY RUN. waddahell. :((
!@$%!!@$%!!@$%!!@$%!$
I feel like screaming now. Sometimes, looking out of the window a long way down is just so tempting. The solution seems so inviting.
I desperately need someone to talk to. But who? NEED a physical tangible BEING who will understand and just keep it to him/herself. But everyone has their own problems. I should stop being so selfish to trouble others. :( I'm losing hope. I don't know why. God are you hearing me? Are you listening to all my prayers? When will I ever receive the answer?
A friend of mine saw me at the bus-stop sometime last week and asked, "can't you just smile?" And I can't answer him. What is there to smile about? might have been my reply. It's a good thing my bus was there at that time, so I just boarded the bus and bade him goodbye. If not, I would have broken down there and then. It had been a very very trying period for me and it's getting from bad to worse; but I could not bring myself to share this with anyone. Who can help anyway? Who can understand it anyway? I keep feeling this deep sadness inside of me. A funny feeling that could not be put into words. :( I don't know.
I'm psychologically, emotionally and physically tired. breaking down too soon. I feel like an overstretched rubber band, on the verge of snapping anytime.
Ironically, I feel more stressed here in this school than back then in nus high. I so totally don't understand my life right now. EVERYTHING IS UPSIDE DOWN. Whyy. :( Someone pls explain to me.
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pw now. sian. wonder whether I'll still be able to catch some sleep tonight. Too many things to do, too little time. :( If only there's 100 hours per day.
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If life were a game, I would have quit long ago. There's no point living this mess. It's more tiring having to unentangle all these criss-crossed strings than to redeem a new one. But if I do, I'll break God's heart.
