Haix. Been travelling all around Singapore these 2 weekends... Been super busy and tiring. But I've at least completed 40%. That's at least something commendable, no? Heh. But still need another 60% of the data leh. Where to find?????? ARGH. :'( So super stressed because of this. Really have no idea why I took up SRP. School's not been very helpful either. 咳！就只能叹气！Really hope that classmates will help!

Went back to school for OP discussion today. As expected, Cephas didn't turn up again. >_>" I shall reserve my comments. 就像老师说的：有些人就是这样的。虽然不能接受他，但也是没办法，只好容纳他...But thank goodness things beyond our control will be in God's control. He will take care of all my needs. :)

今天真的没办法，在大众书局比不得以便再次打电话给他问他关于专题作业一些东西。同样的电话号码，可是不知为何打这通电话时心跳得异常的快，好像得到高血压似的。咳。现在每次要对他说话我都得三思而行...为什么？嘿...这感觉真不好受...怪怪的，仿佛我做了什么亏心事似的。就是没有以前那么自在。咳。我看我好像是老化了。也无缘无故觉得蛮自卑的。不知道为什么。:(

咳！觉得自己很烂！哎！真无奈！

但只能怪自己。都是自己的错。：（ 但.... 这全部真的是我的错吗？都是我的错？

真不知该怎么办。

耶稣。您听到我的无奈的呐喊吗？救救我吧，求求您了...

Inferiority complex is driving me nuts. I have no idea why. Argh. What's happening to me? Why is all these happening? The pressure is very very great now. :( I can feel the burden on my shoulders. I feel like breaking soon, the tension is just too unbearable. How could I remain calm and neutral or even look happy on the surface when my heart is beating so wildly in fear and anxiety and my mind twisting in the constant whirlpool of worries and problems in the insides of me?

It's a wonder why a handful of my classmates chose to talk to me at the lowest of their times instead of their apparent best friends in class. They all said the same thing. I'm a good listener, a good friend even. I just smiled. I have nothing much to say. Heh. If only. 

Am I such a failure? Am I? 

Am I THAT lousy?

Problems upon problems heaped upon me,
like shackles from which I yearn to break free.
The search for my pleasant past is futile indeed,
oh my Lord your strength I greatly need.
Who could share with me this burden?
None but the God who knows me from within.