Argh
I'm feeling totally agitated now so I NEED to blog. Correction: I need to vent my feelings.
Been staring at the computer for about 4 hours in the futile attempt to START the econs project which was supposed to be dued yesterday. And I could only come up with pathetic 5 sentences. (hey but that's 58 words and it's an accomplishment already ok.) It says there on the instructions 'get into groups of 4-5'. And who's in my group now? Only Eirene. How pathetic can this get. Wth.
Econs is ________ damn irritating. It gets on my nerve.
Monetary shit policy. Actually I don't even CARE if the mint suddenly print garbage bags of money, causing hyper inflation etc. And I don't give a damn if the world economy crashes, cause it's going to happen sooner or later anyway. And I'm just going to talk cock during the 10 min presentation. Hahaha. That's provided I could still remain in her class in week 3, which I highly doubt so.
The written report requires us to write 800-1200 words, but I think I can give a super duper short answer of 8-12 words. haha.
Explain and justify Singapore’s choice of using exchange rates rather than interest rates as an instrument for its monetary policy.
Cause exchange rate higher than interest rate, so money-minded Singapore chooses to use exchange rate for monetary policy.
Comment on how Singapore’s use of exchange rate policy helps promote ‘sustained non-inflationary economic growth’.
Singapore has never actually reached full employment and her economic growth is so small that it can be sustained without inflation.
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Hah. ms fan will faint when reading these answers. confirm one. lol.
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And this is how I failed Econs.
I could have used the time more productively on physics. :( :( :( :( Less than 7 weeks to A levels. TT_TT I'm still feeling so unprepared.
AND. PW exhibition tomorrow. Wth, the teacher briefed us saying that we had to give our juniors 'politically-correct answers'. And, they prepared a whole list of FAQs and answers for us to memorise. Omg. They don't have to go to such an extent right. But anyway, I'm not going to LIE just for the best interest of the school. LYING is totally against my principle. So if anyone's going to ask me how's PW, I'll give my most truthful two-word answer: PW sucks. BUT. (There's always a but.) but bonding with friends is quite fun. Well, that's the only fun thing out of it anyway.
Have to skip lectures and econs tut (which I totally don't mind at all). But I MIND skipping lectures. Hey that means I don't have to do the essay outline for tutorial tomorrow! Yay.
Very very very soon, hello H1 econs! bye firms and market structures hahaha. But even if it's H1 it still sucks.
Oh and hello bio remedial too. To give remedy and resuscitate my (used-to-be-but-no-longer)best science what the f___.
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After looking through my archives, I'm going to quote myself (what I've written in Oct 06 the devastation of Year 4, when everything was stressful till breaking point). This is what I'm feeling now, somewhat (just that I cannot put my feelings into words cos I've somehow learnt to hide them well).
Sad as I am, I still have to continue,
The long trudge has imprinted its indelible horror,
In the heart of my mind, my soul, my emotions.
When will I struggle to be free?
When will I break free from this horrendous suffocating grasp?
Am I that bad? Or am I merely creating a shawl over my own potential?
The results, the figures. Are they good measures of my calibre? My potential?
What are they to me? What do they mean? I know not.
Why? I asked. Because this is so. They answered.
The rigidity, the inflexibility is driving me mad.
But nothing, absolutely nothing can be done. Not in this place, this time.
The incredulously packed schedules, the exams, the tests, the quizzes, the assignments.
All packed, all graded, all driving me to the wall. The wall of death.
Pushing my limits, attempting to drown my helpless cries, trying to engulf me,
Savouring every minute of my sleeping time.
What is the use? I have asked. It’s your future. Take it, or leave it. The answer.
The harshness and the reality of the uncompassionate world out there.
Development of my creativity, my language arts, all hindered, all restricted, all compromised.
Is it all worth it? What do I have in return?
Figures. Oh, figures. Digits and numbers that appear to be less than half.
Figures that laugh silently at you, make funny faces at you, tease you,
Poke fun at you, criticize you, mock at you.
Despite all the hardwork, the diligence, this is what you will get.
Who will know what is really hurting? Taking all childlike, innocent happiness?
Stealing all the helpfulness, care and love; replacing them with anger, hatred and confusion?
Motivation and drive to push harder, to work and do well are buried in the mud of disgust,
Hatred, rage and insulting figures.
Dreading each morning with futile hope that all will turn out well.
Hands that are cuffed tightly behind the back to tireless labour of hated lessons,
Will soon be moved to a straightjacket, psychologically deranged; and physically immobile….
It's time to face reality and admit defeat.