Thumbs down.
It's past midnight now.
And I've wasted the entire day.
yay.
haiz. Was practising violin the WHOLE day since I absolutely have NO MOOD to study for anything.
School sucks. Right? Yea.
And this is the first time I'm saying that. :O
Life IS sad. And Jane is pessimistic. So there.
Music (other than drugs) is the ONLY thing that can alleviate you from your despondency. Really? Yea, to a LARGE extent. which reminds me, music does NOT have the sole purpose of giving enjoyment for oneself (*thinks of mid-years GP essay*).
I seriously need dopamine. To block my receptors on post-synaptic membrane so that neurotransmitters won't get properly transmitted to prevent me from getting 受刺激.
HAIZ. Oh well. Me not doing well for mye only has one explanation - my neurotransmitters are dysfunctional and not sending the signals and hence nothing productive ever reaches the post-synaptic membrane and hence nothing useful gets in my cerebral cortex. Either that, or strength of signal impulses are not strong enough so signals just died down halfway during transmission. And these biochemical pathways are dependent on the information (i.e. proteins/ messengers) from the genes (i.e. DNA). And DNA of an individual comes from the random fusion of gametes (i.e. that's from my parents), and it all boils down to the genetic factor. Therefore by induction, you are the cause of it. So don't screw me up after PTM thank you very much. Just face the fact that I'm not very bright stupid okay?
Mock exam just now went quite okay I guess. Scales (at least I remembered my arpeggios but I still can't quite remember minor scales. :O ) improved by leaps and bounds and I'm quite happy but generally it's still quite lousy by my teacher's standards so I'm still :((((((((((. Spiccato was okay but vibrato was like not moving at all cause I was scared stiff. D: (And I didn't know that my violin teacher actually has a Bachelor of Arts (Hons) degree *WOW* and was from NAFA *no wonder* lol.)
And I just found out (it took me THAT long to realise. -.-"" ) that my previous violin teacher (who taught me for a year) was from RJC (wthomg) and was in FIRST violins in ASIAN YOUTH ORCHESTRA (i.e. representing Singapore) during her JC years. How inspiring. And later became an engineer before becoming a violin teacher and now ends up travelling around the world enjoying life (so good). Lol. I wanna be like that too (only for the enjoying life part. hahaha).
Okay okay. Just here to say VIOLIN ROCKS no matter what (even if I fail my exam on 2nd July).
And I'm allergic to chem. It's called chemophobia, self-diagnosed ailment. Yea. Just stared at the SPA handout and nothing refuses to go into my brain for like 2 hours before I refuse to look at it again.
Ah well. The world's easiest thing is MUSIC. yea, MUSIC. Even if you produce a horrid sound, you can still call it MUSIC, cause that's the only thing special to you and no one can ever fault you for that cause one man's meat is another man's poison (or that in your view, the person has a really lousy taste for what's really melodious).
And so for next week,
Mon: Chem SPA (haiz.. don't even wanna think about it)
Tue: Chem CA = Paper 2 (according to Eirene. But I'll just be 'huh it actually existed? I didn't even know...' and submit a blank piece of paper and kill more trees)
Wed: Violin Exam!! = pon school + cca = YAY. Hope the examiner will be nice. :P I'm super nervous but guess it'll be ok if I remember whatever my teacher said today. IF I could actually remember (since I have assumed myself to inherit faulty axons... -_-"" ).
Thurs & Fri: usual boring load of lectures and tuts. gah.
Weekends: More music lessons ^^ and meeting up with wsm and wsy (after what seems like eons). It's been too long. I need a life.
Can't wait / wanna fast-forward (without actually having to go through the tedious week of facing exams + tests) to next Saturday cause I'll finally not be playing the same old boring 3 pieces but actually gonna learn something new. Like, FINALLY.
YAY.
Just to reiterate, to remind myself to produce more of this kind of neurotransmitters so that signal strength will be larger,
VIOLIN ROCKS.
BIG TIME.
Although I may not be exactly very proficient in it. (ahem)