Can't Wait
Was packing my bulging-near-explosion file just now and realised (to my horror) that I've successfully accumulated 2.5 cm worth of much overdue undone assignments/tutorials/revision exercises. OMG. And I wasn't even slacking for a month, yet. It was just THREE weeks.
And that's enough to kill. -.-
And now I feel stressed. A kind of feeling that had been chucked at the back of my mind since Primary Six. How long ago did it feel... VERY LONG.
JC life is coming to an end (finally) in about 2 months time. Reflecting back on what I'd done.. I guess I could say I'd sort of wasted 2 years. Perhaps I should say I'd taken it too lightly. Or perhaps I'd given up. Or maybe resigned to fate. I don't know.
But what I do know is, I had slacked a lot, especially for the past three weeks, during which I absolutely did nothing (not even blogging...) at all (and ponned extra lessons....). I shall confess that all throughout my 20 months or so as a student here, I DID NOT study for any tests (cos they're not counted anyway = no motivation), and study half the subjects when it comes to exams (common test was worse. I studied only Econs...) = super dead for now. I don't even know what's going on for econs after demand and supply (damn).
Much as I hoped that this would not happen for the upcoming Prelims, which is like end of this month, I have a bad feeling that the above would happen again. T_T I'd lost the momentum (p=mv), got mass, zero velocity. Argh.
Anyway, there's a lot of things that I can't wait for it to come....
I can't wait for...
1) violin results to be out soon.
2) 2 irritating wisdom teeth that hurt like crazy on the right side to be extracted out (both surgically due to some complications). Surgery's on the 11th, if I remembered correctly.
3) School to be over soon. It's been super BORING going to school lately cos we're learning NOTHING new at all (well.. other than maths.. for now).
4) A levels to be over and done with. (ok, I know, prelims isn't even here yet. not that I'm very prepared for it either...) cos I'm going on holiday on 20th Nov night. [YAY] and btw that's immediately after my bio paper.
I can't wait to....
1) get a new violin (although my teacher seems to enjoy playing on my beginner's violin rather than his own few thousand dollars violin)
2) get piano ATCL
3) finish off with theory once and for all (it's been a LONG 5 years already!!!!)
4) learn to play guitar the right way (i.e. not just memorising fingerings)
5) sell my old dusty guzheng to buy a guitar. :D
6) become a full-time tutor. :) :) (whether it's all for voluntary service or getting income, I shall decide later.)
7) Lead a cell group.
8) Play for church worship.
9) go for missionary in Africa.
10) Learn driving (maybe) :D
and a whole load of other ideals.
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Oh yes, how do we define success? How do we measure it?
I finally found an answer to my own question. :D
It's not the outcome that I get, rather, it's the obstacles that I'd successfully overcome to reach my goal. And that is success. To me, at least. My 12 years of education had not been a smooth-sailing one. (one can tell easily from a grand total of 7 schools that I attended over 12 years. lol.. that's like an average of less than 2 years per school.) I don't really care what I get for A levels (so long as I don't fail GP). And thereafter, it's a whole new exciting chapter of life after formal education, and whether I eventually make it to uni or not is another story.